Clones at 12: Re-imagining the Star Wars Prequel trailer

Remember how the original Star Wars teaser trailer began? “Somewhere in space, this may all be happening right now…”

So to commemorate the 12th anniversary of the opening of Star Wars – Episode II: Attack of the Clones, let me indulge in an alternate space recital of that Prequel’s release trailer

Imagine the year is 2002, you fire up your Quicktime player to launch the Clones release trailer that just finished downloading after five hours or so…

“I will not let this Saga, which has stood for almost 40 years, be split in two.”
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“Don’t do anything, George, without consulting either myself or George.”
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“There has not been a new Star Wars film in more than 3 years. It’s outrageous.”
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“The director has exceptional skills.”
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“The merchandise business has made George, well, powerful.”
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“They’re using a digital artist named John Knoll to create cloned Star Wars films.” “Your visual effects are very impressive.”
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“They’ll do their job well.”
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“George, it’s human not to be King of the World.” “It’s all Jim Cameron’s fault; one day, I shall be the most successful filmmaker ever.”20140517-062308.jpg

“We must stop him before ILM is ready.”
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“I shall create the great render farm of California to counter the Kiwi threat.”20140517-064243.jpg

“It appeared just before Memorial Day. We sent About A Boy up against it, but we could not stop it.”
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“The Prequels cloud everything.”
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“Begun, the Sequel Trilogy production has.”
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